Look Who's Laughing Now

How does media attempt to punish or control women? It laughs at them. Laughter is efficient. It disguises control as entertainment, and that's why it works.

We watched it happen to Britney Spears in real time. She was sexualized as a teenager, consumed relentlessly, then mocked when the pressure cracked her. Her breakdown became a punchline. Her pain became content. The media didn't ask what had happened to her—it laughed. The laughter helped justify the control, surveillance, and stripping of her autonomy. Patriarchy didn't have to be cruel in private because it was funny in public.

Unfortunately, we see the same thing happen when women name the system directly. Barbie said 'patriarchy' out loud, and much of the response was memes, eye rolls, and claims of overreaction. Most media sources belittle the movie's feminist critique and say it is cringey. 

Even attempts at female autonomy are treated as a joke. Billie Eilish was praised because she covered her body, then instantly sexualized when she didn't. When she was seventeen years old, she said in an interview, "I never want the world to know everything about me. I mean, that's why I wear big, baggy clothes. Nobody can have an opinion because they haven't seen what's underneath, you know?" Then, when she was an adult and wore a black lace gown to the 2023 Met Gala, she lost 100,000 followers on Instagram because her dress revealed more than her clothing had before. Her clothing choices, regardless of whether they cover her or not, are in the headlines. For a while, it seemed like her clothes mattered more than her music. 

In male-dominated spaces, the laughter intensifies. Serena Williams is called aggressive, emotional, and excessive, for the same intensity that is celebrated in men. While her excellence in sport isn't denied...it is reframed as uncontrolled. Media commentary polices women's behaviors while pretending it's analysis. For women, success is acceptable only if it is palatable. 

For my generation, this training started early. America's Next Top Model marketed itself as empowerment while teaching girls that their bodies were projects, pain was professional, and self-worth was conditional. It looked like career opportunity. It seemed to function as discipline. This is what Sellnow identifies as occluded meaning: what appears progressive quietly reinforces patriarchal control.

As a mother of a daughter, this pattern no longer feels theoretical. It feels urgent. I am watching a system warm up for her—one that doesn't need to forbid girls from speaking up, but to laugh when they do. Feminism needs to be literacy, not just resistance. I know I cannot protect my daughter from a patriarchal system, but I can raise her to be fluent in it. Naming the joke out loud, refusing to laugh, and going against the grain may be among the most important things she ever learns.