Think Like a Man, Prepare Like a Woman

There’s an interesting statistic that gets loosely tossed around leadership circles that says men often apply for jobs when they meet 60% of the qualifications, while alternately women tend to apply only when they feel 100% qualified. I’m stuck on this idea right now. This week’s readings and videos have impacted me more than the previous weeks; probably because as a woman, I’ve paid so much more attention this week in media and life with how my sex is viewed, treated and what’s expected when we are in leadership positions.

Once you look for it, it’s everywhere. Male characters in movies, sitcoms, and workplace comedies routinely and consistently step into roles they are completely unprepared (or at least underprepared) for. Their confidence is framed as leadership and their dumb mistakes are treated as part of the journey. As an example, in The Office Michael Scott is always failing upward and clearly not qualified to be a manager, you even see him applying for jobs he’s not qualified for. In Everybody Loves Raymond we see Ray’s ignorance and incompetence as charming and endearing while his wife is taking care of all the parenting, chores, etc.  We expect  men to wing it, fail, and somehow land on their successful feet by the end of the episode or film.

Alternately female characters, get their credentials and accolades only after proving themselves over and over again. They are prepared, organized, strategic and often exhausted by the emotional labor of holding everything together (in that sense art definitely imitates life). Even when these women succeed, it is framed as exceptional more than normal. Elle Woods in Legally Blond had an entire montage of all the areas she was working on to be ready to apply for Harvard Law School, then she’s dismissed and not taken seriously until she again has to outperform expectations with another "working her butt off" montage. In Parks and Rec we watch Leslie Knope over prepared and “on” all the time in order to succeed or advance. This pattern lines up seamlessly with feminist critiques of patriarchy and masculine hegemony. Men are granted legitimacy through confidence while women are required to demonstrate near-perfection ideals in order to be taken seriously. Feminist criticism calls this occluded preferred meaning. On the surface women appear empowered by being smart, accomplished and capable, but the underlying message consistently is that women must overperform to belong to any sort of power structure.

As an improviser, I’ve noticed something pretty useful about myself. I tend to approach opportunities with more of that traditionally “male” psyche. I wing it. I say yes before I’m completely ready. I just trust that I’ll figure it out as I go. That mindset, shaped by years and years and years of improvisation, has absolutely opened doors for me. Doors that I'm sure I would have kept closed if I didn't have the YES AND mindset. I’ve landed opportunities I might have talked myself out of if I waited until I felt perfectly completely qualified. If it scares and excites me, I usually jump at that gut instinct. Traditionally that is distinctly more of a masculine tendency. That realization makes me wonder how much of what we think of “confidence” is actually permission. What would happen if pop culture started to flip the narrative and showed women as “winging it” and succeeding or advancing? If we do it enough, our ideas about leadership and readiness could change an entire generations perspective and mindset. How do we flip the narrative? Let's do this thing! "Let's Go Girls...."