Why Women Will Never Win

It will never make sense how quickly women are recast depending on how comfortable audiences feel with their ambition. 

Whitney Leavitt’s recent media arc makes this so painfully clear. On The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, she was initially framed as a villain. Then public opinion softened and she was praised for her confidence and clarity. But once she appeared on Dancing with the Stars, that praise curdled into criticism. It was not because she failed, but because she succeeded too well. She was labeled “too good,” too calculated, too aware of what she wanted.

Ambition in men is often read as focus, discipline, or competitiveness. Ambition in women is frequently reframed as arrogance or emotional coldness. Whitney’s performances were technically strong, but the backlash centered less on her dancing and more on her demeanor. Her confidence disrupted the expectation that women in reality TV should appear grateful, surprised, or effortlessly successful rather than openly driven.

This dynamic connects closely to John Fiske’s argument about popular culture and audience interpretation. Fiske emphasizes that audiences are actively constructing meaning based on relevance to their own lives and values. In Whitney’s case, viewers were interpreting her ambition, professionalism, and self-awareness, and then using those interpretations to decide whether she deserved support (Fiske, pp. 218–219). Meaning was negotiated socially rather than taken from her weekly performances.

Raymond Williams’ idea of “the masses” helps explain what’s going on a he points out that popular reactions are often written off as emotional or irrational, when they’re actually shaped by shared cultural expectations (Williams, p. 29). The discomfort with Whitney’s career-focused attitude shows that many viewers still expect women to be likable in ways men aren’t required to be. 

Women are allowed to succeed, but only if that success looks effortless, humble, or tied to their relationships rather than ambition.

What makes this especially telling is how Whitney’s confidence became the problem. She didn’t break rules or perform poorly, she only broke an unspoken rule about how ambition should be presented. Stuart Hall reminds us that popular culture is a site of both containment and resistance. While audiences may see themselves as critically evaluating Whitney, they are also reinforcing a dominant idea about how women should behave in public life (Hall, 1981). Her reception shows how limited the space still is for women who openly put their careers first.

Whitney Leavitt’s experience is about so much more than just her. Her story reflects a broader cultural tension around women, ambition, and approval. We say we want confident, driven women, but when that confidence is visible and unapologetic, the support often disappears.

What unspoken expectations do you think ambitious women in pop culture are required to meet in order to stay rootable, and why do those expectations seem so resistant to change?