When male athletes get emotional by yelling at a referee or throwing something, it is usually framed as passion and their love for the game. It shows that he is competitive and determined to win. When a female athlete does the same thing, the narrative changes.
"She's out of control"
"She's too emotional"
"She needs to calm down"
This double standard is not accidental, and it is actually rooted in how our culture looks at gender and power. Popular culture does not only reflect inequality, but it actively teaches us what kinds of behavior are acceptable for men and women.
An example of this can be found in the tennis world. Throughout her career, Serena Williams was often framed as "too emotional", particularly when she challenges officials or expresses frustration on the court. Her anger is very normal given the pressure during elite competition, but the media portrays it as threatening or excessive. The same behavior that labeled Serena as too emotional is always excused and sometimes even celebrated in men's tennis. Serena's body, voice, and dominance disrupt expectations of femininity, and the media response works to discipline that disruption.
Another example of this was found between Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark. Angel's confidence and celebration was considered as classless and aggressive. I have seen many male athletes do similar if not more aggressive gestures after winning a game and they have never been called those things. They are usually called tough or "hard" for doing such gestures. The message here is consistent: women who are too loud, too proud, or too visible are disciplined through language. The media frames their success as acceptable only if they perform it correctly.
Instead of asking why women are so emotional, we should be asking why men's emotions are treated so differently. Growing up playing sports and now working in sports, I can confidently say that men are just as emotional when it comes to sports as women, and maybe even more so. So who decided that composure looks masculine? Why is passion celebrated only when it comes from a certain gender? Until these questions are taken seriously, being too emotional will be less of a critique for women and more of a warning: win, but don't disrupt the rules while doing it.
At what point does “passion” become “too emotional,” and who gets to decide that line?
One of my favorite sports movies, 'Draft Day' has a line from Jennifer Garner to Cleveland Browns NFL coach asking "how is it that the ultimate prize in the most macho sport ever invented is a piece of jewelry?" That stuck with me and I was reminded of it when reading your post. Like you, I worked in sports and I remember vividly HR calling me in one day to discuss my attire. I would usually wear a conservative blouse or t-shirt, blazer and either slacks or a longer skirt in the summer because in Vegas it is HOT to say the least. HR pulled me in one day during the summer and said my attire was getting complaints from men. When I asked for clarification, the HR rep (a woman) said that off the record, it wasn't because of what I was wearing that made them uncomfortable, but that I was 'too curvy.' Still to this day blows my mind. Your post highlights another common theme I have heard working in sports and entertainment - 'women are too emotional.' According to the book ‘The Female Brain,' "the female brain is more sensitive to stressors as the part of brain females use to register emotion is larger. But the male brain uses a larger section to register fear and aggression." By using that metric, it suggests that while stress is an emotion, fear is not. To answer your question, I think that passion is determined by its definition to have an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. If that starts being controlled, what is next? I think that line should always be a fundamental right decided on an individual basis as opposed to looking at it from a gender stereotype.
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